My Dearest Cedders,
I cannot understand why you are still staying in Treyine. My girls tell me that it is quite the worst hotel they have ever seen with bars on the windows and the food ... well, words cannot describe the slop they serve there. The girls tell me that you are happy there though. I don't understand it, but I am happy that you are happy. I shall come to join you as soon as I can. However, first I must deal with the girl that claims to be the true ruler of the Hykari. Pah! Hardecg Legbiter is a jumped-up wannabe. No Legbiter has ever ruled the Hykari and none ever will. Right, must go now. The Legbiter ratbag wants to use the same swimming hole as my girls and that will not do. We're off to tear their hair out.
Barbax, True Queen of the Hykari
Well, the battle went jolly well, all things considered. We were outnumbered but the area around the Old Swimming Hole is not really cavalry country.
Hardecg was really keen to get to grips with us and her girls all charged whooping and hollering as if they thought that would scare us.
Well, what a shock she had. I led my girls in a charge against her line and pretty soon had her and some of her cronies backed up against a cliff, and me in my state too. It was an education, I tell you, to see her turn white and gallop her pony off out of there followed by her bodyguard and some of her other cronies. Ha! That showed her.
Unfortunately, my girls were not all as stout-hearted as I am, and my left wing collapsed pretty quickly, although not before getting some licks in against the remaining Legbiter supporters. My right wing was a bit windy too. More cumis next time, I think.
After that it was a real whirlwing melee. I went off after the Legbiters that had seen off my right wing while the others turned on the Legbiters in the centre.
I charged some of them into the actual Swimming Hole, you know. Well, if they wanted to swim, I was certainly not going to let them change their minds.
The rest of the Legbiters did rather well in the melee, mainly due to large numbers. Still, my girls held their own and there were only a couple of units of Legbiters left when the last of my girls headed for the pavilion.
I soon sorted them out too. No Legbiter is a match for a Gutripper and I surely showed them that as I was left Queen of the Hill at the end of it all. The Legbiters are all hotfooting it for the south now. Unfortunately I have heard reports of a Mirish invasion here in the north and must try to deal with it next.
I remain yours ever,
P.S. Not long now. I'll send for you before the happy event.