Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Autumn 994: The Battle of the Dembroix Hills

My dearest Cedders,

We had the most wonderful battle yesterday. We were over in the southern part of what used to be Valkae and those Altengard oiks had invaded the lands we had liberated, so that the Valkae people could live in happiness, peace and freedom under the benevolent rule of King Edward. So there I was with a few of the girls from the pony club and the sausage-eaters marched straight over the hills towards us. I must say that their knights looked rather fearsome in their finery and on those huge destriers. It quite makes a girl weak at the knees, you know. Not, of course, that I was considering anything like that in reality. After all, we do have an understanding, don't we? And I will manage to meet up with you in Harbottle at some point.

Anyway, the battlefield was rather hilly, as the name of the area suggests, and there was a shallow gully running across the middle of it. It was dry and not at all deep, but it was enough to provide some cover. A small copse lay off to our right flank. Our army deployed as usual with the archers in the front rank and the cavalry on the left wing. Altengard deployed with their knights facing our cavalry, their light horse on our right flank and a mass of infantry in the middle.
 So, what did the general tell us to do first? I'll tell you. He told us to deploy on the left flank and then immediately ordered us to gallop over to the right flank. So we did that with ribbons blowing in our ponies' manes and a lot of whooping and hollering. The girls were rather excited, you know. Just as well we did that, you know. The Altengard light horse were all over the archers there and we sure showed them. They did not stick around long once we got there.
 But then we had to rush back over to the left flank again. The Altengard knights were causing problems and Sir Geoffrey needed our help. A bunch of archers were also redeployed to meet them. It got really messy, what with all the arrows and galloping and yelling going on. Most of the yelling seemed to be coming from Dansforth. His apprentice had forgotten the bats' ears and toad's testes for his important spells, and nothing seemed to be going right for him as a result. Well, that's what he said.
 The Eskelin knights were not very keen. They abandoned Sir Geoffrey and left him to fight on his own. Pretty soon, Sir Geoffrey chose to find a local inn to lurk in, instead of fighting. Well, his armour was all scratched and dented and he was not happy. It was about this time that a lucky arrow struck down the Altengard general. His men managed to carry him off, but he was cursing a real blue streak. I have never heard such language before! I shall have to have a word with his mother, and tell her to sort her son out.
 With the cavalry melee over, we had to race after that hero fellow, Sir Dietrich von Bern, or whatever he was called. He was intent on joining the melee in the centre of the battlefield. The poor Treyine archers were taking a hammering from the Altengard arquebusiers and Sir Dietrich was determined to make things worse, which he certainly did. It was just fortunate that the Tropilium ballistae were on form today. You would not believe the havoc they wrought. I have never seen artillerists be so accurate with their shooting. It was incredible. It was about this time that the girls decided that enough was enough and headed for the nearby hillside for our picnic. Ham, lettuce, fresh bread and lashings of ginger beer. It was a lovely picnic and we had a great view of the rest of the battle.
Sir Dietrich was determined to do everything he could, and he did, but the Treyine infantry held up well and drove him back time after time. His servants, lackeys and minions were being cut down left, right and centre, but still he tried to fight on, until a lucky artillery shot spooked his horse and he too left the field. I could hear him cursing his destrier all the way back to Attenum City. That left only some Altengard infantry. Tired and worn out, they did not last long. Treyine held the field, but only a few of our infantry were left. It was one of the bloodiest battles I have ever seen, truly a glorious day. I can't wait for the next one.

Yours ever,
Barbax Gutripper

This was a pretty intense battle. The Altengard knights made a powerful charge against the Treyine left flank, sweeping around the end of the line of archers. The Treyine knights were only just able to hold them up until archers could be redeployed.

The hero was nigh on invincible. Individual infantry units could not hurt him, but did manage to force him to retire, which caused most of the hits on him supplemented by a few lucky arrow and artillery shots.

The Altengard general was wounded (OOF) and the Treyine general and his unit routed, so both sides finished the game with no general.

The artillery was spectacularly effective, which was a total contrast with how we have seen it perform previously.

The final result left Treyine the victor, but they had practically no troops to follow up that victory with. This is the sort of victory that could cripple the victorious army if the rules allotted permanent casualties to victorious armies as well as to losing armies.

National Morale
Both sides passed 1 die, so National Morale is reduced by 1 for both of them.


  1. Great BATREP but I hate you for letting my forces lose this battle. They clearly missing my better general skills ;-)

    1. Sorry! Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!! Next time it will be different, though. :)

  2. I cannot lie it was I who lead the Altengard forces, it was so close to being a victory, but alas not to be.
    Unfortunately Barbax's letter was returned unopened with the address scribbled out and saying No Longer Known At This Address and If You Come Round Looking For Him Prepare To Meet Your Maker. It was also covered with flour.


    1. What happened to Sir Terence? ( Is he no longer in the picture? Do we need to write a new adventure series for Brother Cedric to explain what has happened?

  3. Yes, poor Sir Terence, what a tragedy that was, and all because of a misplaced butternut squash. Who would have thought after a pleasant evening meal on the veranda, that he would then slip on the skin of a carelessly tossed squash. He would then tumble over the balcony and fall 100 feet into a wagon full of spears. This causing the horses to bolt and fling the wagon into the moat. Strangelt enough his father had died the same way 20 years before to the day.

    1. Wow, that's an incredible coincidence. It must have been really rough on Sir Terence's surviving family, what with his father going the same way. Who now rules in Sir Terence's stead? Has Griselda made a lot of dough through her marriage? Did she use her loaf to gain power and status? Or did Sir Terence just discard her like the crusts from his cucumber sandwiches?

  4. Great battle, the defeat of Altengard benefiting Tereken notwithstanding. I'll be curious to see what the armies look like and how it effects the situation. I'll get my battle sorted forthwith.

    1. Thanks, Sean. I look forward to seeing what Stygustan can do to Tropilium.


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